Sunday, April 13, 2008

Zip up, ladies!

A local administration in East Java has recently come up with an idea of such brilliance that it forces you to sit back in awe when confronted with this genious. I think all the righteous fighters for good morality ought to intern for a while with this Enstein of behavioral science who gave birth to such a revolutionary concept.

Fact nb 1: prostitution is evil.
Fact nb 2: women are not much better.
Fact nb 3: the old tradition of massage can lead to funny business.
Fact nb 4: men can't resist temptation.

Solution: all masseuses in massage parlours have to wear a padlock on the zipper of their pants (or their skirts, for this matter, although I am still wondering how that would work).

Yes, it's a new regulation that was passed recently. Apparently, according to some reports, the cashier in the massage parlours keeps the keys (locked up, I guess) and may release them from time to time in order to allow the evil temptresses to visit the bathroom whenever nature calls. I read that they keep a second set of keys just in case there's a problem with the first ones. Losing the one and only set, you have to acknowledge, would be a major inconvenience for the girls.

Luckily enough, the decision has caused an outrage here: the minister for Women Affairs has slandered it, saying it is an insult to women, and it has become the subject of ridicule throughout the country. Which is a shame though, because I can think of plenty of other derivations of the philosophy that would make our lives so much more moral: think of using wooden spoons (and mittens of course) when touching the client's back, or imposing chastity belts in clubs. That'd be only for the females though, because you very well know that all males can remain Masters of their Domain as long as they know the sweets are on display only.

If not, they could be forced to wear the koteka, the traditional outfit of some of the tribes from the far-flung Indonesian region of Papua.

That ought to do it.

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